On the terrace of a monastery high in the mountains, an old Buddhist Zen master stood next to a much younger monk while they both contemplated the great Void of misty space out yonder. Yesterday I picked up two college girls hitchhiking. And God said, “Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth.” And so God created Man in his own image; male and female created he them. Somebody? -- Woody Allen He turns around in his drunken grogginess and finally exclaims to himself in an inebriated voice, “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. Be jealous and envious. "What do you do all day?" As he looked at it his picture became a thing of beauty, too. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time." 2. Moreover, given our curved universe, if the chicken keeps moving in the same direction, it winds up coming once again to the same road! said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation. Dear Lord, please protect me from your followers! -- David Steinberg One of the priests couldn’t stand it any longer and said, “Just a minute young lady.” “Yes?” she replied. Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. That’s what my Mom did for me and my brother. flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. GO!” What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus. --Oscar Wilde I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Hey, fifty bucks is [And one more, newly submitted:]

St. Francis: No Sir. Shortly thereafter we moved from Texas and I lost track of my friend until we came back for a visit and stopped in to see our old home in Houston.She ran out to greet me and hugged me. I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. Let’s make a So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. His mother was amazed.

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. One for you, one for me."

One student, however, wrote the following:] It’s better to be silent and thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt. 4. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer said, “Father Murphy, were you gambling?” Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, “Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do.” To the police officer, he then said, “No, officer; I was not gambling.” The officer then asked the minister, “Pastor Johnson, were you gambling?” Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, “No, officer; I was not gambling.” A new monk arrives at the old Italian monastery for his celibate life of shared poverty and prayer, and is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton-polyester blend). --John Lennon, Beatles singer-composer (1940-1980) Some people are afraid of heights. "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death. Is he still unemployed?” “Yes, he is. If there were no God, there would be no atheists. Ah, but, I can’t tell you what it was. Be at rest in the indwelling and inworking of the Holy Spirit. I saw the Space Brothers make the most beautiful,

Did I miss anything? From now on, I will live on cigarettes and black coffee. My uncle has a farm. October 25: I have been forced to abandon the project of producing an entire cookbook. I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. They’re just kidding, aren’t they? She explained to her mother, “Anthony proposed to me an hour ago.” “Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked. Well now, listen here, my young friend. “Don’t even ask,” said St. Peter to the man. Getting onto the plane, I was so depressed, I said a prayer: “Lord, I’m so down; you’ve Don’t let your home become a negative environment. Copyright © A.D. 2018 Catholic Stand | Powered by Astra Then Simon Peter said: “Do we have to write this down?” The thief spends less than my wife did. A week later the Rabbi calls It is a piece of paper that draws the illusion of all mankind. My personal experiences with God, Satan, the Holy Spirit started when I was in high school. She got up, brushed herself off, and started again running while praying, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late...But please don’t shove me either!” He went to Florence and gazed on it, then got his easel. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. In 1990 I was 15 years old. 12K likes. Seen on a restroom wall: “God is dead.”--Nietzsche. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. If I Can't Be Number One in Your Life, Then Number Two on You And Woman gained 10 pounds. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." “I have a young man to recommend to you as a vice president.” “But I already have more vice presidents than I need.” “But this young man is Lord Rothschild’s son-in-law.” “Ah, in that case....”

Do not let shit happen when you are standing on your head! From what the angel said to Zechariah in the vision, it is clear that the candlestick with its seven lamps fed by the oil from the olive trees is a symbol of the Church illuminated by divine grace.According to legend Memmius was a spy in the days of the last and worst of the persecutions, that under Diocletian.

When we come to the Lord Jesus He gives us His Holy Spirit to help us live as He would have us live, and the more the Holy Spirit controls our lives, the more like Him we grow. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.

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